sister resistor...

Mindfulness Week- Day 2

For some reason, I wanted to say Day 3… I am exhausted. This Week will truly be a test. I have to work odd hours at the mall, finish some crochet orders, and my daughter is planning for college. 

Luckily, tomorrow is a day of Meditation with my sangha, Tangerine, at Jeju… Ahhh. The relaxing space and good simple food will make it easier to let go.

So, a few things came up in meditation this morning, no, a LOT of things. I feel that because I work at a mall, I am overstimulated when I go in. I am sure that is the point. But all of it resurfaced this morning on the pillow.

Something that was bothering me was how I sit in judgment of others. I mentally comment on appearance, behavior, speech; you name it, I judge. 

Surely this speaks to Right Thought. Its so easy to practice Right Speech, Right Action, Right View, but Right Thought? WOW, a serious challenge for me.

Who am I to judge? Who am I to say anything about anyone. We’re all just souls, here for our own reasons, trying to live day to day. What gives me the right to sit higher than anyone else? 

It ISN’T right, and it isn’t Right Thought. I clearly understood Right Thought after my Vipassana retreat, but lack of practice has put me right back here. So I’ll push through it.

What helps with this Mindfulness week is one-way tweeting, something I came up with back in 2009. I send tweets to Twitter, and that’s it. I don’t receive tweets to my phone, and I rarely check Twitter. It’s a good releasing practice.

Another obstacle for me is Facebook. I know everyone is on FB, and everyone posts what they want, but I get mildly defensive when someone I follow makes their status about something I posted. I feel like they could have simply commented or messaged me. Yesterday, it was about Chik-fil-A not supporting LGBT issues. And this other person, a Soror, said why should anyone be surprised. I didn’t go off or anything like that, but I felt compelled to tell her why what Chik-fil-A said is wrong, and I commented. After thinking on it, I let it go. And instead of being an ass and saying “Some people just don’t get it,” or “Some people just don’t want to know the truth,” I just walked away from my computer. 

the truth is this: People come to the truth when they are ready to face the truth, no matter the situation, knowledge level, willingness to see. Even me. I had to see that it wasn’t necessary to get upset. Dhamma, Dharma, Daruma… It is what it is. As Goenkaji would say, “The truth is the truth.”

Six days…

May all beings be happy!

@tishushu